Many couples seek out therapy when their relationship has become strained and difficult. My orientation to working with couples follows these key questions with the goal of helping partners assess both the state of their relationship and their willingness to learn new tools for intimacy:

• What are the strengths in this partnership? 
• Are you able to be sources of strength and support for one another?
• What past grievances remain unresolved? Is forgiveness a possibility?
• What are the current sources of stress that make it hard to relax and connect?
• Does the relationship feel more healing or more re-traumatizing?
• Do you share common desires?
• How is your sex life?

Many times, the act of answering these questions is clarifying and healing in itself. Through the process, I assist both partners with the following:

• Communicating honestly, using non-blaming language 
• Remembering their strengths, particularly in the ways that they love
• Discovering means of self-soothing when their partner is unavailable
• Discovering means of soothing their partner when they have energy to give
• Engaging in intimacy practices that enhance existing closeness and take things to the next level
• Exploring if this relationship is viable and sustainable for both partners

Like my work with individuals, my work with couples is diverse: I see both homosexual and heterosexual couples, those who are dating, married, or partnered, and those in monogamous and non-monogamous relationships. 


Jessica Wolk, MFT
License #MFC 45896
(415) 339-8180
jhwolk@gmail.com